Pre Ramadan thoughts!

Basking on the warmth of care and attention at home, I reflect on my life, blessed yet eventful I couldn’t help thanking the people whose gentle acts made a heap of difference…….I lower my gaze as in trance filled with gratitude…..my beloved parents who gave me good education and values, affectionate siblings and the puck (my little sis )…….my cousin in the IT Industry who had referred me to a start up firm in Trivandrum when I have just finished my graduation……..My boss who has given a boost to my career by giving opportunities and always encouraged to study further……..my colleague whose intelligence and bullying instilled an urge for perfection……my cousin who took the pain to deliver the gift on my wedding eve even after meeting with an accident……. My spouse who unraveled a world of freedom ,wonder and passion………Sanads Philippino friends kind act when we had difficulty finding accommodation in the initial phase abroad……. The pieces of advice, criticism, genuine support and appreciation from the managers at my workplace in sharjah………. The cute ever loving and helping Doctor in Sharjah……..my colleagues who had supplied me with books to weather my toughest and lonely days…..the sober and soothing waves along the sharjah corniche that swabbed my tears…….The MD of the IT firm in Dubai who has given the freelancing writing assignment……..Sanads friends unselfish act of introducing the dignitary, the privilege to associate……….Now here iam with a beautiful life with ups and downs with laughter and sighs…more like a fairy tale……My heartfelt thanks to all of you out there…… let me welcome the holy month with this note of gratitude filling its fragrance!

Redundancy tales of a fantasist

Hi All,

Hope you are doing good, sorry for not updating my blog for quite some time. From today onwards for a specific period I would be pretty regular in my postings… the specific period is till I land up in my new job, though even now iam pretty busy ( who said the unemployed are idle, devising a new time management itself is a time consuming act especially when you know you don’t have to jump out of bed to be in office on time, and no meetings or deadlines to meet or gossip at the break time…..all these are fading to distance….and you juggle your household chores busy scanning the right openings in the newspaper and sites and prepare the database….fix the right time to send it out with your resume where your achievements and experience smiles at your still photograph…..then attending the interviews…..researching their background through the site…..locating the interview premise, the biggest headache…..so I feel jobseekers have to burn extra calories than those who are on the job)

Thursday was my last day at the office I have bid farewell to all my colleagues and when the company vehicle dropped me at my stop, suddenly I felt a surge of pang, I don’t know what was the reason, recession is following me and striking, when I reached home I felt iam all alone in this vast universe, a feeling of dizziness, I knew I am capable of facing challenges, iam bold and strong willed if I feel I need something dearly I make it a point to obtain it at any cost, through the right way and through hard work.

I saw so many dreams on that day I saw myself floating in the water, I logged on to the dream interpreter site it said To dream that you are lost at sea, suggests that you are drifting around in life without any direction. You are feeling overwhelmed by emotions.
Next day I was on track, I can keep recession reveries at bay, I have got an interview call and I have attended it, while I was showing my work samples the Manager jovially asked me is it u pointing the blogger profile picture, I said its pseudo photo, anyway thanks to him, I will be putting my original photograph from today onwards……revealing my true identity.


So dear readers do post your feedback and stay in touch
Lovingly and job huntingly yours

Shabs

Some pre-weekend thoughts

Hi All,
Hope you all had a great week. The last few weeks had been serene, introspective and busy juggling the works at office and home, but I should say it was with content and calm, preparing and packing food for my spouse with great care and ecstasy to his new workstation. Listening to his new observations of people and surroundings, I was enjoying every bit of my existence.

Checking my things to remember list and striking off the finished tasks, meanwhile checking online bank account for any positive sign murmuring prayers and looking blankly at the Poster Tuition available for English that I have pasted near the elevator of my apartment with the hope to utilize my free time during weekends to earn some extra bucks to resist recession. I look at my mobile and wonder why it hasn’t yielded any calls and I solace myself by a monologue “kids will be enjoying their vacation back home, no wonder no calls……”

I want to do a lot of things, I want to materialize a lot of dreams, I repeatedly tell myself to be patient….my intentions carry a lot of purposes my hearts desires to bring smile on a lot of people whom I love and who are miles away. The holy month of Ramadan has started and notes of peace, bliss and aura is everywhere, I tell myself not to keep any ill feelings against anyone whom had given a lot of difficult times and injury. I remind myself to make the most out of the holy month through humble efforts.

Material well being or spiritual well being is more important? I pose this to question to tackle, and let my thoughts to wander, my glance shift to the novels lying on my table waiting to find emancipation through my eyes and my minds eye, ready to take me to different worlds and action sequences, I have decided to keep aside all the books, I should be editing my ex boss’s literary debut instead, I pasted the sticking note on my PC edit the novel on weekend, I tried to recollect all the recipes and grooming tips I have collected through internet to make the weekend and Iftar enjoyable, weekend is indeed perfect time to keep worries and concerns at bay, Iam inhaling a breath of cheerfulness to my bosom to create a perfect weekend,

Cheeringly yours
Shabs

A solacing song to the soul

The tiny bird always gay and playful
Flew with the tide of the care….
Hiding the warmth of love and dreams to its skinny feathers……..
Flapping and spreading the fragrance of love to her companions……

She flew and flew with caution away from falcons……
Looking in her new nest with hope and joy

When she landed on her new nest……
She wished she could rest……..
But her tiny nest, a puzzle so hard to crack…..

She started flying again
Crushed dreams burning fire on her bosom….


The tiny bird in trance Tired and confused
Tried to sing her souls song to her mate…….
She waited for him to return to her


He did come, never trying to hear her melody
Never seeing its intensity, never listening its beating
The tiny bird still sings her souls song
Wishing for a day to sing in union
To sing and flap her wings in joy and close her eyes

Hopes of that bright and serene day
Floats her to air and she flies singing her souls song……..

Outward in self analysis

Hi All,

Good day to you. I was so stressed up and disoriented few days back and felt I would explode if I didn’t talk to someone, as always, my friend was there for my rescue, His wisdom soothed my eerie feelings and helped me see things in far better light. It was indeed an eye opening session, I felt ashamed of myself for being so naïve to be cynical and disheartened. I listed my reasons for frustrations he told me to take a bird`s eye view of what Iam doing and it seems to him I have shrunk my thoughts towards a few things? you need to do a real self examination of urself ? you are looking inward out look from outward in...I would say the best piece of advice I have ever received, I did that…. I looked at my reflection from outside……stunned to see the truth.

I always used to think Iam doing the right things, I always used to expect attention and care from my spouse in return of my love for him, I used to scream shriek and yell when things are not going according to my liking. His words did rang a bell…. he said if you are expecting.. you DO NOT have love, love is unconditional, and if there is expectation... its conditional...its is not love. He continued to my surprise you are frustrated for no reason ... and you are possessive for no reason, and that makes u look only to the negative side of life ... while so many positives are happening around.

He shot the prescription for me quickly write down 20 positive things in your life everyay for the next 30 days its normal for us to get in to the garbage of our lives ... yes we need to work yes we need to do the chores at home yes we need to slog but what is it for we are doing it ? if that is quite clear , you can easily get going...we need to have perseverance, in life we need to appreciate the god things that our partner does and what they require is encouragement not to point the issues.

Its so stupid of me to keep on trying to change the ways of my spouse, how much damage I would have done to him through all the endless fights and screams, yes now I see a lot of positive sides in my spouses side, he is cool headed, how come I mistook it for indifference, not even a single trouble would affect him, where I would get worried for no reasons, he is capable, he is technically very adept, why I want him to be a book worm while he always had a way to tackle realities, he found his new job with no time, he is capable and good in his field, why did I fail to notice that….. I was reminded of the play Hayavadhana by Girish Karnad, where the wife yearns for perfection, exchanges the physical and intellectual faculties of two persons and how it ruins their happiness and make them realize the futility of searching for perfection.

These words from my friend, whom I know for years whom I judged to be a perfectionist startled me imperfect things are beautiful if we do things like how car is made , then life is not interesting anymore why is painting beautiful coz its imperfect ... and there are lot of unknown thing that we could see you will see how blessed you are ...

I had to agree to him, then he asked me sarcastically but you r what ? frustrated? angry ?
No, no I have corrected him iam blessed

Then he continued remember if you get angry about something, youu do not have love for that person...coz anger is a emotion, and love is an emotion when anger supercedes love ... that’s when we get angry before you get angry change the perspective of how the other person would be feeling when you get angry with that person and then you u would feel that things need to be changed from your end. Change always starts from within and we need to keep doing the change, so that we become better…..when you stop doing it remember we aren’t growing mentally, spiritually and mutually.

Iam almost in tears when he finished. So I would like to thank my friend for reinforcing the truths about relationship that got fogged by troubled situations, and I want to tell my spouse a big sorry for all my naive ness, I love you more than anything in this world, you are still a gem of a guy my dear husband!

My wish list garnished with fantasy

Hi All,

Good day to you thought of writing something to elevate all your spirits especially in the backdrop of relatively calm and quiet past weekend. Wish all of you had a lovely and relaxing weekend.

I was thinking about my friend’s theory about achieving things in life, he tells me; you can attract the targeted wish towards you, if you yearn for it with full heart and work for it, the gravitating power of mind is unbeatable. So as all the inspirational writers suggests, I started the first step, writing down the dreams and goals, here are some of my wish list for 2009

Writing a novel ( though I have not started it and every weekend I write down on my things to remember list to compile all my poems and writings, so far that never materialized, but Iam too advanced in my thinking that I started fancying me with the award in hand received for my literary debut, LOL)

Taking a shower in Rain The childhood memories of playing and splashing water in rain with my siblings creeps back and a sudden urge to unwind and immerse with this beautiful form of nature pops up, but when will it rain in Dubai, all I could see is the scorching sun, even if it rains all I could do is to watch and admire the beauty and rhythm of rain through the sealed window of my apartment.

Owning a sewing machine I love to stich and create new designs with fabrics, combining different colors and festooning it with extra ordinary stuffs, I imagine wearing outfits designed and stiched by me and look at my own reflection, so far my designs and layouts take rest in my own PC.

Looking at the sea at moonlight I love to watch and play with the waves, like school kids punches and kicks each other funnily, I feel the same affinity and fun in kicking its strong current and gliding along. I wish my spouse to pick up this habit of gazing at the sea so I could go to the seaside quite often.

An Atlas and a wall hanging world map I love traveling and the recession raided situation prompts me to get compromised with the Atlas for the time being, I love looking at the continents, like a butterfly I sways and admire each continent, its greeneries and waters marked on the world map.

Recreating all the wonderful places I have seen in my dreams All the strange and lovely sceneries appeared in my endless series of dreams, either through words or through paintings. Little bit confused on selecting the right medium.


So start jotting down your wish list right now itself, and stick it somewhere close and visible to you, each time you look up you will be reminded and feel the urge to have it no matter what happens…….and please let me know your musings!

Recession packed thoughts

Hi All,
First of all let me apologise for not updating my blog for such a long time, I wish to put the blame mostly to recession than to my laziness, could very well say that I have been undergoing the recession reveries especially in the backdrop where family delusions spiced up my being in this hot and humid city of wonder , I can sum it up like this unintentionally my beloved spouse fell ill and had to see his job saying good bye to him in the pretext of recession, joining in his woes and extending the warm hand of support and preparing the challenging plan of actions to fight all the odds, it took almost all my energy, when the expenses equations broke to an alarming rate, I have started realizing the true worth of financial dependence other than the emotional dependence in a relationship, a series of happenings in my life, and one more thing I have realized the fun in having a frugal living , an eye opener, helped me see the shallowness of people, helped me find the genuine people who would really stick to you and would lend you an ear to listen to your true feelings.

Ideas come and go as how to decently earn some extra bucks to tide this short period of delusionary phase of my life, here Iam with an underpaid job which gives me security and lot of creative exposure, thinking everyday hard as how to bring changes that would bring hope, happiness and coziness to my life. How would I utilize my talents that would help me pay for the bill that’s the question? Freelance writing; is it a nice option? What do you guys think?

My wish list gets longer and longer and I devise my dreams and plans list diligently waiting for a day patiently when I would grab my opportunities and emerge successful once again, like a phoenix coming out from the ashes, so fancy you all have reached where you wanted to be, wishing you all a satisfying and a true professional working week ahead!

Lovingly and trying to recession proofingly yours!

PS

This week I join my husband to listen to all Michael Jackson numbers, my husband used to love his songs and dance to the tunes always, a true and ardent fan of the pop star so let us pay a tribute to this legendary singer this way!