Outward in self analysis

Hi All,

Good day to you. I was so stressed up and disoriented few days back and felt I would explode if I didn’t talk to someone, as always, my friend was there for my rescue, His wisdom soothed my eerie feelings and helped me see things in far better light. It was indeed an eye opening session, I felt ashamed of myself for being so naïve to be cynical and disheartened. I listed my reasons for frustrations he told me to take a bird`s eye view of what Iam doing and it seems to him I have shrunk my thoughts towards a few things? you need to do a real self examination of urself ? you are looking inward out look from outward in...I would say the best piece of advice I have ever received, I did that…. I looked at my reflection from outside……stunned to see the truth.

I always used to think Iam doing the right things, I always used to expect attention and care from my spouse in return of my love for him, I used to scream shriek and yell when things are not going according to my liking. His words did rang a bell…. he said if you are expecting.. you DO NOT have love, love is unconditional, and if there is expectation... its conditional...its is not love. He continued to my surprise you are frustrated for no reason ... and you are possessive for no reason, and that makes u look only to the negative side of life ... while so many positives are happening around.

He shot the prescription for me quickly write down 20 positive things in your life everyay for the next 30 days its normal for us to get in to the garbage of our lives ... yes we need to work yes we need to do the chores at home yes we need to slog but what is it for we are doing it ? if that is quite clear , you can easily get going...we need to have perseverance, in life we need to appreciate the god things that our partner does and what they require is encouragement not to point the issues.

Its so stupid of me to keep on trying to change the ways of my spouse, how much damage I would have done to him through all the endless fights and screams, yes now I see a lot of positive sides in my spouses side, he is cool headed, how come I mistook it for indifference, not even a single trouble would affect him, where I would get worried for no reasons, he is capable, he is technically very adept, why I want him to be a book worm while he always had a way to tackle realities, he found his new job with no time, he is capable and good in his field, why did I fail to notice that….. I was reminded of the play Hayavadhana by Girish Karnad, where the wife yearns for perfection, exchanges the physical and intellectual faculties of two persons and how it ruins their happiness and make them realize the futility of searching for perfection.

These words from my friend, whom I know for years whom I judged to be a perfectionist startled me imperfect things are beautiful if we do things like how car is made , then life is not interesting anymore why is painting beautiful coz its imperfect ... and there are lot of unknown thing that we could see you will see how blessed you are ...

I had to agree to him, then he asked me sarcastically but you r what ? frustrated? angry ?
No, no I have corrected him iam blessed

Then he continued remember if you get angry about something, youu do not have love for that person...coz anger is a emotion, and love is an emotion when anger supercedes love ... that’s when we get angry before you get angry change the perspective of how the other person would be feeling when you get angry with that person and then you u would feel that things need to be changed from your end. Change always starts from within and we need to keep doing the change, so that we become better…..when you stop doing it remember we aren’t growing mentally, spiritually and mutually.

Iam almost in tears when he finished. So I would like to thank my friend for reinforcing the truths about relationship that got fogged by troubled situations, and I want to tell my spouse a big sorry for all my naive ness, I love you more than anything in this world, you are still a gem of a guy my dear husband!

A prayer to God for smartlife

Good day to you all!
One of the very brightest and pleasant day in my life, to wake up in the morning with a feeling that you are not alone in this world, how fulfilling and sweet is that feeling, I would like to thank the Almighty for granting me this day to enjoy the bliss of meeting my soulmate after a traumatic, temporary yet long seperation.

This is a thanks giving week to me to remember and praise the divine power, who decides and sets the role and happenings in ones life, I think troubles in life are a blessing in disguise, you tend to scrutinise your actions, you realise your limitations and it makes you more bold and make you get closer to God. I strongly believe that having great faith in God too is a way to smartlife.

A prayer to God
I thank God for giving me this wonderful lifethough it is flavored sweet and sour
I thank God for showing me the right paththe path that is hidden to sinners
I thank God for testing me with trials cos I can see a beatiful resting bench waiting for me afar
I thank God for showing in me love, hatred, impatience, naiveness, maturity, passion and the facets of me with its true variations

I thank God for each moment, as he taught me its real meaning
Let me love the mystery of tomorrow today with yesterdays finer moments!

Wishing you all a holy and spiritually uplifting weekend ahead!

Valentines Day thoughts

Hi guys,
Aren’t you excited about Valentines Day, I is so near? Iam very much indeed, Notes of romance and sweetness are in the air adding a magic touch to the winter season, now iam getting nostalgic about those wonderful memories attached with that special day in my life back home. I still remember the day in which we a bunch of Business management students organised the event " Dieren" the event conducted at one of the best halls in town, after pooling money, the preparations we had for the big day, the lovely looking ticket designed in the most romantic way by my friend who has a natural flair for designing, though we were amateurs my friends managed to bring good DJS, the melodious romantic bits played for the audience still echoing in my ears.

Some were pretty worried about its success and the whole affair but they sold the tickets pretty well, they managed to broke even I guess, the first practical assignment to put management theories into practice. That event co-ordination is something that remains closer to my heart. Everyone in my batch were pulling my leg by asking why I was thrilled without having a valentine , I was wearing a fully white outfit groomed to perfection, I smiled and declared iam celebrating this day with my valentine who used to come to my dream and I am waiting for him to turn up, truly that happened after few years , the day when my husband came to my workplace to see me, after one year of courtship we got married and so far we have celebrated three valentines days together, the fourth one is approaching and I feel the distance will make that days celebration bit more special. You start realizing the worth of a person when that is person is not around.


So everyone make the most out of the day, don’t forget to gift your lover/spouse/the loved ones a wonderful gift, do share your valentines memories here with me

Iam heading to Dubai to have a look at candy/ flowers/gifts displayed there to be exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. So my weekend will be rich with the thoughts on this mysterious saint, I must say St. Valentine you are so sweet!

Counting the blessings for smart life

After a tiring and sleepless night (staring out through the window and enjoying the charm of the blue sky where the dark clouds embracing the moon and sliding over it brought a poetic relief to my insomnia) and I have started thinking about myself. Why should I stay awake at the wee hours of the morning? Isn’t it high time I should start thinking out of the box? I know that there are so many ways to bring in peace and tranquility to ones life.
Why should I not use it in my life too? Yeah, the best way to forget all your trifle worries is to count the blessings, and I did that too, looking at the creamy sky.

I have started counting the good things in my life

Yes Iam blessed with good and loving people around, close relatives, friends and lot of good people who love to see me smile

I have cozy roof over my head that protects me from rain and sun; I can afford to have healthy diet and leisure at my convenience.

I have a good job to utilize my talents and a pay package though small gives me security and independence especially during this time of a global slowdown

I have a heart that melt easily and that beats for the loved ones

God has blessed me with education and good moral values

God has gifted me to find the beauty of the universe and the people around

So when I thought about the blessings I started to experience a serene feeling allover
So dear readers I would suggest you to do this exercise sometimes to realize how blessed you are, so the next time when you feel blue take a pen and a notepad and write down or write it in your mind your blessings and see those dark clouds leaving far off from you.

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings

A New Year hymn

A new year to look for hope,
New new days to see the smile of the beloved ones
Gone are the days to ponder over the follies.

Newer days to bring back peace and smile
Looking though the windows to weigh the bitterness of the words bespoken
Shadows of the past are dancing along the waves
I sign in vain and crave for your presence

Couldn’t you hear the suffocating laughter and glitter of those days?
That is evaporating through the windows
Didn’t I mumble once about loneliness and silence that I scare most?
Why I was always scared to lose your love
The ominous dreams making me nervous and making me kneel in prayers……..

I wake up at night feeling lumps in my throat and look out through the window
The rippling waves of the sea is flowing along with the tune of the breeze
Brightly lit neon’s are blinking secretively kissing the darkness
The night is as beautiful as ever
But why the nightmares creeping in again and scaring me?


My soul is swirling to find the hidden love sparkling in remote
Am I far from you so far beyond your sight and sensation?
Am I becoming vulnerable even to look out through the window and melt in its scenic mysteries?

Bring me back my smile and the lost rhythm, why do u reject the heed of my soul purposely, the scars in my heart are pleading for your care and affection
I wait in silence for your return, to smile and to start afresh altogether!



By
Shabnam